The Smelly Man!

Ok so today didn't start too well. It all went wrong at about 3am this morning when my ear ache cranked up the pain to an 8 and didn't go away after the first 2 paracetamol so I took 2 more at 5.30am. Naughty, I know, but the pain was such that anything that might render me unconcious was better than being awake!

Then, I did that fatal thing and stayed in bed for 5 mins extra than normal. Cue tail chasing all day! It wasn't just me who had a bad morning. Hubby had a bad morning cos daughter managed to catch his cereal filled spoon whilst giving him her coat showering him in sweet sticky milk and making him shout at daughter, so daughter's morning also not too great.

This should have screamed out to me that bus catching and journey weren't going to be straight forward but I ignored the signs!

Obviously the above meant we were running late, probably a given on a Monday morning anyway. So hubby dropped me off at the last stop he goes past before he has to turn off for his work. I was waiting for ages for a bus, bearing in mind that there should be a bus every 5 mins, I think I waited 15 mins, which always seems longer when your running late or think your running late cos of the rushed morning so far.

Well, once a bus turned up it was pretty full, standing room only. The lady who got on with me was obviously more awake than I was cos she spotted a seat that no one was sat on. However, on further investigation neither of us wanted to sit there because of the infamous "smelly man"!

Maybe a description of the smelly man at this point would be appropriate. He is, I assume a homeless bloke, who always wears wellies and a blue anorak no matter what the weather. (He does also wear other clothes but I can't remember enough detail to describe them on here, I'm sure he'll make an appearance on this blog again and I'll try and expand on my description.) He also has a black bin bag with him. He's almost a local celebrity, always hanging around bus stops on the stretch of road leading up to the city. When the bus goes past him someone will inevitably shout "Look it's the smelly man!" I've heard people talking about him on the phone and almost fondly say that he's still ok cos they've seen him at the bus stop. I'm sure he's a lovely guy but he really does smell. I once got off the bus at a bus stop that he was sitting at and I could smell him as I walked in the opposite direction.

So when faced with the opportunity to sit next to the local celebrity that I could smell half way up the bus when he was sat at the back it's hardly any wonder that me or my fellow bus stopper declined.

Once the bus had left the bus stop a man in the seat on the other side of the aisle to the smelly man volunteered his seat for me saying he was getting off soon. Now this man would never have given up his seat if it hadn't meant that he could have moved slightly further away from the stench which had meant that on a cool spring morning the bus had all it's windows open! Of course there is no polite way of turning down such an offer that I know off especially on a Monday morning when your starting to accept the fate that the day is just going to be one of those days!

Meanwhile the bus continued picking up passengers. One woman strode up to the empty seat next to the smelly man and promptly sat down. She had either never encountered the smelly man, had no sense of smell at all or strode so confidently towards the empty seat that once she realised why it was empty she felt too embarassed to not sit in it. Whichever one it was you have to admire her for sticking it out.

Eventually the smelly man got off and slowly the bus came back to life, people who had been holding their breaths or breathing shallowly started talking, people felt that they could finally blow their nose but particular mention has to go to one woman who must have been equally replete of any sense of smell as the woman sat next to smelly man.

Once the woman sat next to smelly man had let smelly man out she sat back in the seat nearest the aisle which seemed sensible to me. Then the bravest woman or as I say the most replete of any sense of smell woman asked to sit in the seat that smelly man had vacated. Amazing! Those two women had certainly not had too much to drink at the weekend. That smell was enough to turn the strongest stomach.

What puzzles me about this scenario is why smelly amn was allowed on the bus in the first place!?! Maybe some bus drivers do have a heart... Or maybe they just enjoy watching the other passengers reactions almost as much as me!